9. It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.

[Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones's Diary, 2001

director: Sharon Maguire; writers: Helen Fielding, Andrew Davies, Richard Curtis]

a.k.a. something in your life will always suck.

What I adore about this statement (besides how elegantly it puts the italic statement above) is how it plays on literature. Because this quote is, first of all, a a paraphrase of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice opening sentence. And as such it is  neither particularly subtle nor requiring any amount of deep knowledge of either writers’ work to understand. Like it’s predecessor, however, it summarizes a very common concept, wildly spread around among the generation described in a respective book. Women in Jane Austen’s time were to believe every man needs a woman (or there is something wrong with him). Women in Helen Fielding’s time learned that one cannot have everything and if everything is under control someone is moving too slow. [quoting Mario Andretti]

This very quote, actually, got me thinking about parallels between these two books that are less verbatim than the quote. Both books present a set of characters representing various social and financial statuses. One could argue that Bridget’s society is significantly more comical while Elizabeth’s one is better characterized (or vice versa). I choose to believe, all are supposed to be symbols and that Fielding and Maguire on purpose made theirs to be counterparts of the original. First in line we have, of course, blatantly obvious Mr. (Mark) Darcy, played by Colin Firth (drool). Second one I thought of was a vulgar mother, which made me quite disappointed with my brain for going precisely there. But then, correlation between Natasha and Caroline Bingley could not have been any less subtle.  I also see Mr. Wickham upon traveling thorough time transforming into Daniel Cleaver without any difficulty, just like sisters convert into friends (Mary Bennett would make perfect Cosmo, while Jane would become Magda, the whereabouts of  Kitty and Lydia are not yet identified in my brain). I can even see (whoever thought of that in the second movie – brilliant) sweet little gay Rebecca being a counterpart of Miss Darcy.

But no matter how hard I try, Elizabeth just doesn’t become Bridget. With all the verbal diarrhea, with all the opinions and living according to the society but dreaming bigger than expecting, there is something that doesn’t quite transfer. Cause Bridget is … Bridget. In the society where the respected women are of Natasha’s and Magda’s kind, Bridget with all the lack of knowledge, poise and size zero is so … normal. While Elizabeth is who women wanted to be like, Bridget is who they acknowledge to be. And when everything falls down to pieces, they, just like Bridget, lay their heads on the bath tub ledge, pick up themselves and everything else that fell, put on a top and a skirt, change a job and move on. As figuring out feelings for Mr. Darcy does not need to mean sitting home and listening to the mother anymore. Thank God.

 

8. Dreams feel real while we’re in them. It’s only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

[Cobb

Inception, 2010

director: Christopher Nolan; writers:Christopher Nolan]

So here we have Leonardo DiCaprio in Christopher Nolan’s movie talking about dreams. I guess fate could have given me Gary Oldman in Robert Altman’s movie talking about pride, but one really shouldn’t be overly greedy when it comes to circumstances.

Cobb is, however wrong. Well not wrong, just inaccurate. Only well designed dreams feel real. As soon as the brain makes dreamality too good to be true it starts questioning its own creation and resets it by letting you know you are dreaming.

So when we wake up we break dreams into pieces, looking for symbols, motives that repeat and reveal something about ourselves. Constantly asking what they mean and what we could learn from them. But as long as we are dreaming we are looking for confirmations. We may be overwhelmed by what we are immersed into, we may become our own Descartes, doubting it and wondering if what we see is really what is happening. We test our senses, we check our pain threshold. Some of us master a trick that allows us to be absolutely sure – we pinch ourselves, we try to scream (I cannot in my dreams, but then I cannot when I am scared in real life either. I think.) and yet even the most cautious of us still sometimes get fooled.
Cause something inside us (or outside us) wants us so badly to believe we are right we ignore bent dimensions and circular time. We give up on proportions and sound propagation, stop questioning our morales and duties and just go with everything that is presented to us. And I don’t think we do it, because it is the easier solution. I think we do it cause we think it is the only one.

I am, however, wondering what is up with this control. Only well designed dreams feel real. And if they don’t and we know they aren’t, why not experience them as they last?

7. You used to be much more…”muchier.” You’ve lost your muchness.

[The Mad Hatter

Alice in Wonderland, 2010

director: Tim Burton; writers:Linda Woolverton &Lewis Carroll]

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the ultimate invective.

I mean we are not talking about a simple “you have changed” at best hissed at worst pronounced with undertones suggesting that you are no longer suiting the imagination of the person who chose to point out this tiny yet relevant fact to you. We are not even talking about expressing the disappointment or calling someone “ordinary” or even “boring”.

No, no. None of that subjective kind.

And just to be clear, we are as far from constructive criticism as we can get.

We are talking muchness. Muchness that includes not only actions, choices or character features but, most importantly, imagination, faith, courage and potential. We are stating that someone lost not only everything they once were but also gave up all the things they could have been. That due to negligence and conformism one stopped following the inner self that once used to save imaginary worlds, live in fantastic creations different from everything that could be built, go through path that don’t exist and develop and grow in the process. We mean someone blended in with the world around them so comfortably that they care about moving out even a bit not to be called unreasonable or ungrateful by those who manage the surroundings. And at the same time the person would rather lose their muchness than upset the managers.

Muchness we are talking about.

Ability to be oneself.

6. Beauty is always only an illusion.

[Morgan Le Fey

Merlin, 1998

director: Steve Barron; writers: Steve Barron, Peter Barnes & Edward Kharma]

Sapkowski in his “Witcher” Saga describes hordes of Witches, proud, decisive and full of flaws, who put a lot of time and effort in maintaining their beauty. And at the same time he points out how many of them, deep inside and underneath all that magic, are crippled, disfigured and plain ugly. And though nobody can ever guess, they know. It is supposed to be in their eyes. And it most likely is.

And then one walks upon Merlin’s child with dark braids and an eyelid that catches unwanted attention. She is not stupid, even though she sometimes appears to be. When innocent she sees through bad things and is not heard. She is smart enough to survive in the world where life means nothing and unwanted children are easily disposed. Through and through there is nothing desirable about Morgan Le Fey and she knows it. She is not attractive physically and, on top of that, piles coldness, emotional withdrawn, self-absorption and egoism to the point where only Freak has eyes and heart perceptive enough to look through. Morgan develops an unbelievable self-preservation skill. It allows her to go through life smoother than ever before and allows her to be important and desired by at least one creature in the world. She gives up her freedom, her son and then some, for ability to, for once, glide through life and not worry and not care. She consciously picked the pretty selfish bitch to cover up the ugly, heartbroken child.

Therefore she will take an illusion over nothing. Mainly because she knows what price she paid for it.

5. I love you but I love myself more.

[Samantha Jones

Sex and the City, 2008

director: Michael Patrick King; writers: Michael Patrick King & Candace Bushnell]

Because, I mean, can one be more honest than that?

It is hard, probably even more in the culture I am coming from, to admit that one, truly and absolutely, love oneself. I am not talking about loving in the way that one is good for their body and mind. No, I do not mean going to the gym, eating right, reading, thinking and keeping oneself balanced, although those could and usually contribute. I, and I think Samantha too, mean the love for yourself in a way that would probably made Ayn Rand proud. The relationship with oneself so deep that doesn’t scare the person from actually saying “I” and meaning it when it comes to their own life.

Sure enough, it sounds self centered and egoistic. But has anyone seen Samantha Jones more humble through the whole series than at the moment, when she gives up everything she had never thought she could love to be the person she has always wanted to be? It must have cost a lot of pride, sleepless nights, silent moments and inner strength to admit to herself and then loudly to the guy that she truly loved, that this happy life is not exactly what she wanted. She is as authentic as it gets, stripping all the layers and coats to show the deepest part of herself. It almost seems like anything considered “decency” at this point could have stopped her and kept her in her dreamy life with Prince Charming. However, at this point consideration for his feelings, guilt, social standards, sacrifice, reasonable approach to the future and appreciation for everything he did would just be all the wrong reasons to stay when everything inside her is telling her to just go. The only responsibility she has with this honesty is to share it with everyone it concerns and make sure it is done in the right order, where words and explanations precede actions.

As selfish as it sounds, as superficial as it could be, the quote actually touches something very deep inside a person. The love of your own ego, of the person one managed to create in the process of getting older. To love oneself so much that the fear of offending, worrying and upsetting others just go out of the window and the line in the pursuit of happiness is drawn inside the person drawing it. Cause to love oneself is to know and accept the only person that is absolutely always with you. Just as that person is.

4. Face it girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.

[Evelyn Couch

Fried Green Tomatoes, 1991

director: Jon Avnet; writers: Fannie Flagg & Carol Sobieski]

In my books, also known as an ultimate bitch snap.

So, here we go, with Mrs. Evelyn Couch, who is middle class southern woman with average life and sliding though a female version of a middle life crisis (a.k.a menopause). Inspiration to get her life in order and enjoy every bit of it comes from the secret shared with her by another apparently average woman who didn’t let life get in her way of living.

Said on a busy, sunny parking lot to two young women with a huge potential to become their own Evelyns in the future, the quote is so powerful not only because it is true. It is powerful because it brings up the realization that things that amaze you the most you can find inside you. Even if you never thought that could be the case.

Because after outsourcing everything she can, including more and less contemporary things that are not only outside her comfort zone, but from zones which are not even remotely adjacent, the character starts listening to voices that she overlooked before. The one of Ninny, telling the story of the ultimately brave women of the South before the fifties and, finally once in her life, her own.

The sentence may not be the nicest smartest or most thought provoking. It will, most likely, never make any of the “top” movie quotes. And shame on them, because like nothing else this one shows the birth of independent woman in Mrs. Couch. I kind of want to say, it allows Mrs. Couch to discover her own Evelyn, the authentic one, the one she always wanted to be and never dared to.

She is older, she is bigger and she may be slower. And sure, it is her husband who bought the car insurance in the company he works for. But if you don’t have goods you want to have, fake it till you find them.
In the meantime, use whatever you acquired till now.
Even if you never thought they would be good for anything.

Face it, readers, I love this quote and I will use it against someone in the future.

3. I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.

[The Joker

The Dark Knight,  2008

director: Christopher Nolan; writers: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan]

…said The Joker and then the movie started.

To talk about this particular quote I have to stop thinking about the movie that is so two-sided and with so many double meanings that it amazes me. I have to also remove it from the whole life story attached to it and just focus on what the broken and deformed character could have really meant. I also have to give up my personal amusement on the word play which is untranslatable, because even in my mother language, even though it is equally strong it loses all its smoothness and apparent innocence.

Now, he is a Joker so he could have meant pretty much anything.

He could have meant, simply, that  one cannot expect events in life not to change you. Because what a false entitlement that it, expect that we can be stronger than life, that we can survive as a gorgeous, innocent carte blanche and not get affected. I have always thought it shows how strong you are when you go through something horrible, heartbreaking and life smashing and then you just move on, untouched. You know, The Showshank Redemption’s Andy Dufresne style, crawling through the football field of sewage and come out clean. The only thing is, Joker says, you cannot. Cause something inside you has already changed. And the only reason why the sewer didn’t made Andy dirty is because it was not meant to kill him in the first place.

Or the exclusive opposite, he could have meant that it is only he who got changed. And the sane way of coping with life is never give in. Believing that it is acceptable to give in to life and its craziness is to allow the events to institutionalize you and get the better of you. Everyone, even the untouchable ones, have that dark side that just needs something to feed off. Once given permission to focus on sadness or fear or revenge or anger or pure madness, it will feed and it will grow. Matured or mutated, it will take over and claim the right part of you. Usually all that is left. So Joker is actually warning, not to believe that. Believing will awake your second face, your scarecrow, your own personal Joker.

He could have meant beautifully and sadly that, nowadays, the strong people are the strange ones. The patient ones, the ones who fight fair, the one who calculate failure into their curricula, are the ones hard to come by.  Strange you are, strong people, who can wait weeks for answers, work without being distracted, see through colours of sham into  the grey scale of morality. Strange you are who don’t follow but go your own way, removing obstacles not walking around them. Weirdos, in the society of parents hovering around, who stand up by your choices and don’t hide away from the troubles they create. Freaks not chasing the money, not jumping from a flower to another, believing in other people. Crazy ones, trying to improve life of others and fight what they believe is wrong.

Or he could have meant absolutely nothing. Play of words, like business cards, like the trick with a disappearing pencil. Strange that someone would ever listen to me, Joker suggests. What odds that someone would look for any sense in anything said for entertainment, for suspension, for the effect.

If the latter is the case, shame on me.
I have the quote tattooed.